December 24, 1927, Amherst to El Paso

Helen : I caught your creative child this evening on my way from the Gym. It was a delightful infant: so tricky, naïve and still perverse – and only 4 days old. As for the marriage wall the hand writing on it will tell. I am sure long and tried friendship proves precedence but it isn't always the best. At least if it is, the world is all wrong. We change as do all inanimate mechanisms, systems; but we are governed by the same laws – plus our reason. However, if I should bore you, I would rather be glum or a claw and that is perhaps the reason for my drifting nature. I certainly can't be termed aggressive in so far as you have known me and I marvel that I wrote again or am writing now, except that Time is already making me mellow and friendship continued means so very much. Be that as it must, I think my mind is becoming more determined and set, and the religion of my father says “He that seeketh, shall find. ” Yet fate give me the chance to stir you once as, I nearly have, and there would be no hesitation. (So near, yet so far away – last June.) I didn't, but I am sure that once I brought you into my life you would not want to let it go. Anyhow, you can be as kindly persuasive to a negative solution as you like, My imagination isn't that damn Good. If I were so much whale oil and you told me so, I'd be broken hearted and I might quit. Christ! I don't know. Any time you see me again tho, beware. Strange as it may seem I don't paint you in any more “glorious colors” than you deserve and if you still think so I'm sure your getting an inferiority complex. It may be my imagination and not your personality that keeps me from forgetting, but who in hell makes my imagination go to Helen, if it isn't your personality. Now I've just read your letter again and I'll quit because this world is nothing but a goddam conglomeration of crosspurposes anyway. As to my marks, someone gave me 2 A's, 2 B's a C and a D. and I guess I'll calm the world by having them all C's at Xmas. Thank's. As to someone I'd like to know better, you've got me wrong. I might know them better, but why bluff when you can't love them. There's the old saying tho “men are men, and women are women.” The newest dance pieces and song hits I know besides the ones you mentioned are “A Shady Tree “ , 'Dream Kisses ' and the Ziegfiel follies Medley with Who . 'Baby's Blue' from 'A la Carte and Something to Tell from “The Madcap “ there are some others but I haven't had a chance to learn their names . For me its “Just another Day.” I survived the flood; they issued candles, lamps and whatnot at Smith so the girls wouldn't get in the dumps but everything pulled thru except that it seemed to have spoiled quite a lot of Dartmouth week ends. Those that did get away had to stay in Spring field over night (on the way back.) Put off your trip to Europe for another year and you might run into me and then again I may be over there this summer. I'll say no more only I'm working strings for next year in business; and if I can't then I will the next year any way. I would do that if I were you and any way because M.A. will only make it damn near tore it up a minute ago you more than ever a spinster. I do hope you can scrape a lot of fun out of E.P. because you need and deserve it. In the meantime I am living [and by the way that was no horse collar about that had liquor last June either] and will take what came for granted and I'm going to take as much as I can. So the next time we meet, I'm as I stand and you're you. This is all, if ever, Your Ted.